Begin End Begin Again
by spacegypsy1
Summary: Oh these two, can they find their way to happiness? A Daniel and Vala tale.
1. Chapter 1

Begin, End, Begin Again

spacegypsy1

Oh these two, can they find their way to happiness? A Daniel and Vala tale.

Chapter One – It begins

"We'll move out at first light before the arctic air turns to jungle rot heat. Damn crazy weather. I suppose the dang MALP couldn't do an accurate weather forecast. Somebody needs to upgrade that sucker." With his head tucked inside his sleeping bag Mitchell's words were mumbled.

"Vala! Move over." Daniel nudged the lump beside him.

"I am over!" Vala responded with spitefulness.

Mitchell's head popped out from his bedroll and his voice rose. "Will you two please be quiet?"

"I'm freezing." Vala snapped back.

"We're all freezing, and exhausted. We have one closet sized room and three dry, count them, three, sleeping bags. I have one, Teal'c has one and you two have one. There are three beds. Three. I have one, the big guy has one and you two have one. So quit your yammering, at least you have a body buddy. Go to sleep. That's an order."

"It wasn't my fault." Vala tried to explain. "I thought mine was on the MALP." Then silence settled for all of thirty seconds.

Teeth clinched Daniel used his shoulder to one again nudge Vala. "Move," he grouched low, but firm.

Vala, who had her front to Daniel's back, huffed out a disgruntled breath and very, very quietly told him. "I'm co... co... cold."

Trying to keep her voice very low her words sounded like a spitting radiator.

"You have the inside." He whispered back as if that was supposed to console her.

"The wall is freezing."

"You're inside a sleeping bag with a live heat giving person. Why didn't you leave your jacket on?"

"Still cold. The wall is cold. And my jacket is in the bottom of the bag to keep my feet warm."

"Fine." He turned to his back, grabbed her arm pulling her over him. She landed straddled across him, her chest low, face much too close inside the zipped sleeping bag. He clutched her hips holding her in place for a heartbeat before he moved himself one way and her the other.

They settled, Vala's back to Daniel's front. Backing away the remaining few inches he swore under his breath when his back felt the icy cold wall through the bag and he scooted once again up against her warmth. _Danger, danger Will Robinson,_ he thought. When her face was over him he'd wanted to kiss her, truth be known, when her legs were straddled over him he'd wanted to do much more.

"See, I told you."

"Yes, you did." he whispered, his breath tickling at her ear. "Please remove your six from my crotch."

Vala let out a short laugh before mashing her lips together. She scooted as far as she could go in the confines of their cocoon. "So, now I'm cold on my front."

"The only solution to this problem is for you to sleep on top of me."

"Or," she said into his ear, "you to sleep on top of me."

He sighed, not in frustration but in surrender. "Not tonight. We go home tomorrow. We can sleep on top of each other then. Go to sleep."

"Promises, promises." She teased knowing he was joking.

"Yes. It's time. I promise, Vala. We've been heading in this direction for way too long."

She remained silent thinking he sounded quite sincere. Finally she decided he was and told him, "I'm cold, now."

Daniel pulled her close, tucked her into him, and put his arm over her midriff. "Better?"

"Yes."

~0i0~

After the infirmary post mission checkup and debriefing Daniel went to pack for a three day 'do not disturb' break.

Mitchell went off to visit his family, Teal'c went to Dakara.

Vala was scheduled to join Sam on the Hammond for their time off, though the plan was, if Daniel could convince Sam, Vala would be dropped off at Daniel's.

Attempting to stuff one more book into his satchel Daniel didn't realize Vala stood in his doorway. With a sudden feeling that someone was watching, his gaze lifted, "Oh. Hey."

"Do you honestly think that you are going to have time to read all that?" Vala fluffed her hair and perfected a sexy stance.

Grinning, he shoved the last book in. "Nope. Hopefully I won't. But it looks convincing, doesn't it?" Looking up he waggled his brows.

For the first time in many, many years, Vala felt the urge to giggle. "I see." Folding her hands together, lacing her fingers she brought her fists to her chest. "So. Well. Off I go. To visit Sam. On her big ship. Out in space. Far away. Not..."

"Okay, okay, I think you've made your point. Cameras aren't on, by the way."

"Oh?"

"No. Not on."

"I see, so, I can actually kiss you good bye? Before I say hello?"

"You can." He took a deep breath, coming around from behind his desk.

"What!? Really! _You? _Dr. Jackson of the Tau'ri is going to let some alien kiss him in his sacred office?"

"Yep." With a challenging look Daniel waited.

"What," she said as she moved close, leaning her breast into his chest, "will you do for three days, darling. Or much longer if your plan with Sam doesn't work?"

Daniel cleared his throat then took her face in his hands and placed his lips ever so lightly on hers, "I said kiss, not seduction. One," he sucked on her bottom lip, "sweet," his tongue made a quick foray, "kiss," he finished as his mouth took full possession of hers.

~0i0~

Once Daniel found the strength to move after Vala left he sat at his computer, pulled up a private link Sam had set up – secretly – after her first few weeks on the Hammond, and hit the button. He typed in a series of pass-codes and puffing out a nervous breath he sat back and waited.

Usually it took a good ten minutes, or longer, to reach her wherever she was out in the universe. He had time to think of what to say and how to convince her to take part in his crazy plan.

Taking off his glasses, he put them on the desk and scrubbed his face, rubbed his eyes and rolled his neck. The sudden ding startled him. Daniel grabbed his glasses, putting them on so fast they ended up crooked.

"I'm closer than you think." Sam said with a huge grin. "What's up, Daniel?"

"Need a favor." Straightening his glasses Daniel attempted to grin back, but his voice gave credit to his nervousness.

"And that would be?" Her tone held a note of resistance.

"Er..." He hesitated, then rushed ahead, "to send Vala to my place when she gets there because... because we need some time together and I can't figure out any other way to do that. I mean without setting off alarms everywhere. We, well, we're, well, you know. We want to be alone. Will you do it?"

"Daniel!" Sam scolded, tilting her head and sending him a reproachful look. "I'm happy you two have come to a place in your crazy relationship that you want to be together, but I can't believe you would ask me to do that. How would I explain? Don't answer that. I can't ask my crew to lie."

"Say she's sick with, uhm, a highly contagious disease?"

"And ask my med staff to lie?"

"Ah? Hmm. I have it! She can say she's suddenly not feeling well and you can send her back... say to your house because she doesn't want to go to the SGC. That would work."

"No. No way."

It took him a moment, but finally he responded. "Really? So those two nights you were supposedly stuck at my place sick and I lied for you, face to face lied to General Hammond, and then the time I lied to General Landry for _three_ days don't count? Maybe I need to tell those Washington tales to Mitchell..."

"Oh my God! That's blackmail!"

"Yep. Don't keep her too long, okay?"

Sam's only answer was a hard, squinty eyed stare as she shut down the connection.

~0i0~

"Hello." Vala said happily as she materialized in Daniel's living room.

He looked up from his reading and smiled.

A bit nervous, Vala still managed to return a smile.

The longer they stared at each other the more their smiles grew. Daniel removed his glasses and stood.

Vala started in his direction and he moved in hers.

"You're here." He said coming close to her.

"Yes, darling. Here I am." She took the last step wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Here we are." Daniel kissed her, softly, experimentally.

"I think, Daniel," She placed a hand on his cheek. "I think I'm just a tiny bit unsure."

"Mmm," was his reply as he kissed her again, this time releasing the pent up passion he'd held in check for all the years since the Prometheus.

In rapid speed Vala had his shirt pulled from his pants and unbuttoned.

Daniel, still enthralled with the kiss, dropped his grasp on her six and let her pull his shirt down his arms, never breaking the seal of their lips.

Still kissing Vala he fought to get the remainder of his shirt off his arms. Once free Daniel pulled back, clutched the end of her tee shirt and pulled it off over her head. He sighed, pleased, and kissed her once again.

Backing him up with her hands splayed on his bare chest she pushed him towards the couch.

Daniel went willingly all the while undoing her jeans. "This is crazy," He said between kissing her and trying to undress her.

"Insane." Vala gave him a hearty shove onto the couch and leapt on top of him.

~0i0~ TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Begin, End, Begin Again

spacegypsy1

Chapter Two – It Ends

~0i0~

Even after three days of bliss, not one word referencing their feelings passed between them.

"Daniel, why are we leaving this morning?"

"Because Sam is beaming you up and then you two will come in together."

"This early? We have the rest of the day."

"Vala, we need to get back. This was wonderful, and maybe we'll find some time in the future to be together. Now, we get back to our life, work."

Her mouth fell open and her eyes went wide.

"Ready?" He asked picking up the radio.

"I... I thought we were, were working on... on..."

"What?" Daniel fiddled with the radio to hide his guilt.

Face hard with anger she blurted out. "I just want to be clear, Daniel. So this was an affair?"

He looked up then, seeing her mouth set, and eyes narrowed. "We work together! What did you think we were doing?"

_Working on a relationship_, she thought. "Nothing. I'm ready." Vala crossed her arms tightly and waited as Daniel contacted Sam.

~0i0~

When Daniel got to his office the next morning there on his desk sat a set of pink handcuffs. He groaned, remembering the night when she'd pulled them out. Scattered nearby were ten glitzy hair clips he'd given her over the last few months. The handcuffs sat atop four of his tee shirts rolled up, and one pair of his skivvies, clean and neatly folded. Pinned on one of the shirts was a hand written note that said simply, "I resign."

Taking a bewildered breath he wondered what the hell had gotten into her. Then again, maybe he had a clue.

Last night Vala had burst into his quarters and threw her arms around his neck telling him they needed to talk. Thinking about how he'd immediately removed her arms from around him, reminding her of their agreement of no contact on base, and even going so far as to say that there may not be another opportunity for quite some time to be together, he may have been a little too harsh.

It was just that he wasn't sure he was ready. Or that she was ready. He wanted to continue being with her, of course. Hadn't he told her that?

Daniel sat down and stared at the blank screen of his computer seeing in his mind's eye that hurt look she had tried to hide. She'd left immediately, before he could explain that he meant right now wasn't a good time with all the upcoming missions scheduled.

Surely, he thought with a spark of panic, she didn't mean resign as in resign from SG-1. No. Vala was certainly committed to the team, to the SGC. Surely she was. Hopefully.

He shot out of his chair and took off to find her and straighten this out. Whatever it took, short of shacking up on base.

They had exchanged key cards long ago... just for talking, visiting, and for comfort following difficult missions or nightmares. Finding her room empty he moved on.

The gym had a full on game of basketball but Vala wasn't there.

On to the commissary he went. No Vala. No Vala in Sam's lab, the control room, library, weapons, Cam's office, Teal'c's room, and back in his office.

"Damn." He muttered and once again sat at his desk. He fiddled with the hair clips before picking them up one at a time and putting them on an artifact tray, then he unrolled the tee shirts, balled them up and threw them, one at a time, over on a counter half across the room before yanking the skivvies up and stuffing them in a drawer. "Damn." He spat out gruffly this time. "Where the hell is she?"

Daniel decided to search all the way to the top of the mountain. But first he would change into civilian clothes because if he didn't find her he'd branch out to the mall and beyond. Well at least after checking with Walter and trying to track her chip!

Keying his door he pushed it fully open in his haste and was rewarded with a high pitched screech.

"Vala?"

"Yes?" She responded calmly as she appeared from behind the open door rubbing her nose.

"I've been looking for you. What's up?"

"Looking for my giraffe. I left it here last night." Vala lifted said stuffed toy up and wagged it in his face before circumventing him and dashing towards the exit.

She didn't get far before Daniel grabbed her arm and hauled her back in, slamming the door shut with his other hand. "Sit!" He demanded.

Yanking her arm free she all but growled at him as she scurried for freedom.

Daniel slipped past her pressing his back against the door. "Let's talk."

"_Now_ you want to talk? Ha! We have talked for years and years and years. No more talking! No more touching! No more, no more, no more!"

"Vala, please. I'm sorry about..."

"Just shut up, Daniel. You're not sorry. You're broken and unfixable and I've wasted my precious time trying to... oh, never mind! Move!"

_Broken? Unfixable? _He thought, feeling suddenly ill. "Wait. Please. Just one question. What did you mean by resign?"

Slamming her hands on her hips Vala glared at him. "It means to... to... well, I don't know the Tau'ri dictionary explanation. But I'm no longer interested in our 'going nowhere non-relationship'. We were drawn together by our so called tragic lives. You were right, though. We shouldn't be together. Not here, not anywhere. Our fear is much too strong. It will always drive us apart." She took a deep calming breath. "I got carried away thinking that I love you. But I don't. I barely like you! I used you and you used me. We will never be more than this Shakespherical tragedy! The sex was great. Empty of emotion, but amazing just the same. I thank you for that. However, I'm done with pretending it will ever be anything else. I'm moving on. I have no idea where. Another team, or another world. Who knows!" She left slamming the door behind her.

He sat down on the end of the bed, picked up Vala's giraffe from the floor and stared unseeing across the room.

~0i0~

Sam wandered into her old lab, head down, reading some new information on the moon base. She stopped and looked up. "Vala?"

"Oh, Sam, I'm... er... I'm just doing some work here. In your lab."

"What's wrong?"

"Wrong? Not a thing. Just studying up on your new work and, well, actually, trying to figure out if there might be something I could do. For you. With your new part time assignment. Since the _Hammond_ is in dry dock, which I don't understand since it's never been in wet dock, but anyway, I might be interested in the..."

Sitting beside her friend Sam placed her hand on Vala's arm. "What happened?"

"We had sex, great sex, wild sex, tender sex..."

"That's not what I meant. What's going on?"

Head dropping, Vala shrugged.

"Vala?"

When Vala looked up there was the sheen of moisture in her eyes. "He said, he said, he said it was, I mean he didn't deny that it was just a, a, a, an affair. And he... I don't know. I'm confused. I need to get away from him. From here. At least for a while. Couldn't you manage to borrow me from SG-1 for a short while, like a year or so?" Vala shifted her gaze away from Sam.

"Damn, Vala. I'm sorry. I don't understand him sometimes."

"Hmph, nor do I. At all. At any time. Never."

"Okay, you can stay here, I need to go to a, ah, a meeting."

"Will you think about getting me out of here?"

"I'll think about it. No promises."

~0i0~

Daniel found himself once again in his office staring at his blank computer screen wondering about Vala. He'd totally messed up and he knew it. Deep in self-pity he didn't notice Sam until she came up to stand beside his desk.

"Sam." He said gravely.

"You absolutely amaze me."

"I gave in. Just like any man is capable of giving in to a provocative woman like Vala."

Pulling up a chair to Daniel's desk, Sam sat down. "Of course you're capable. But you wouldn't have pursued some affair with Vala. And you know it. You had your heart broken, Daniel, almost fatally. It's been long enough to heal. You need to learn to trust her. You have to learn to give in to your feelings, to love again. Because I am sure you love her."

Sitting back Daniel sighed and rested his head on the back of his chair. "I know. It's just that..."

"It's just that you are about to lose her if you don't break free of your past and live in the present." Sam stood, patted Daniel's arm and headed for the door.

"That would change everything. Everything will change."

"Fine, I'll take Vala with me, as she requested. I could use her to help with the new base. You need a change anyway, Daniel. You need to change." Sam called back as she sauntered out.

Daniel shot out of his chair. "What? Wait! Sam! Wait!"

~0i0~TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Begin, End, Begin Again

spacegypsy1

Chapter 3 – It begins again

~0i0~

Chasing Sam down the corridor Daniel caught up with her in front of her lab. Sam stopped briefly, pointed in and walked away.

"Vala?" Daniel said softly coming in.

"For heaven's sakes, Daniel, please go. Go away."

"You left this." He held out the giraffe and Vala snatched it from his hand. "Sam says you're thinking of going with her."

She shrugged, holding the stuffed animal close to her heart. "I might."

"No, absolutely not. You can't go. I can't lose you." Daniel scowled, though his voice begged.

"Lose me?" She said, incredulous. "You don't have me."

Nodding, he insisted, "Yes, I do."

"No, you don't." She, also insisted, mouth firm.

"Do too." He tried to smile.

"Well, fine! I don't have you to lose!"

The smile finally found purchase and Daniel responded with total conviction. "Yeah, you do."

"I do not." Vala tried to sound convincing, failing quite miserably.

"Do too. And I'm not unfixable and it's Shakespeare not Shakespherical. And the emotions I felt when we made love each and every time was overwhelming and most likely partly to blame for the fear of what I felt. And, Vala, I know you felt emotions. I know. I love you and if you leave I'm going with you and I'm sorry and I swear to gods and goddesses, demons, rock, moons, and you that I will never, ever, ever again doubt my love for you and I want you to move into my... er... our place today and I really think we should get married. But that's up to you and more than likely Landry will put you or me on another team, but who the hell cares as long as we're together otherwise?"

Vala spun away, shouting, "You make me so mad!"

"I know, Vala, I know. But I do love you."

"I don't like your kitchen!"

It took him a moment to figure out her response. "We'll remodel."

"I hate your... your... car. I hate your past that makes it so hard to be with you. I hate my past, our stupid desire to hang on to it all!"

"All that is fixable. Except the car. I like the car. Besides it's an SUV. But you love me anyway?"

She wailed, crying, arms thrusting out in frustration, moving back and forth, uncontrolled, the silly giraffe flailing about. "NO! No! No I do not! I do not... like you!"

"But you love me?" Daniel approached, hands grasping her nervous arms to still them. "You love me. And I almost, almost destroyed that love. I am here to save it. One last chance. Please. One last chance."

Defeated, Vala pulled free, backed up and sat back down covering her face with her hands, the giraffe pressed against her eyes. "Why would you want someone like me?"

"Because I love you, and I know you love me. Starting right now, together, we can do this. Don't resign. Don't give up on us." Daniel squatted down in front of her. "Vala?" Taking hold of her wrists he gently tugged until she relented and her hands fell from her face. "Don't give up on me."

A little wisp of a smile graced her lips, her gaze softened, her hand touched his check. "I do kind of like you. Most of the time."

Leaning in, Daniel placed a soft, quick kiss on her lips.

"We're not supposed to kiss here. On the base."

"Then let's go home." He stroked her face, stood and then reached out for her hand.

Vala hesitated, turning her face away.

"I think the question is, why would you want to be with someone like me?" Closing his eyes tightly he let his hand drop, then his head. "I've totally screwed this up, haven't I?"

"I think so. Yes. Totally. But so did I." She stood, suddenly, blurting out with venom. "I loved you and you broke my heart."

"Maybe you think I'm unfixable. I don't think so. Vala, I can't imagine my life without you."

"I need to go. Out of here. Now. I'm not resigning from the SGC. That's not what I meant."

Daniel let her leave, watching her go as he stood there shocked and despondent.

~0i0~

In his office at 0300 Daniel rearranged books, undid them and started all over. He couldn't concentrate. His life really was a tragedy and it was his entire fault. How could he, or any man, love someone and fight to ignore that?

He sat down on her stool the one where she would twirl around and around and drive him nuts. Daniel sighed, thinking, _How could I have been so crazy in love with her and not tell her long ago? _

Twirling on the stool Daniel did a few turns. On the third turn he stopped suddenly as he passed, then swung back to where Vala stood in the doorway.

His hands dropped between his knees, he took a deep breath, and tried to smile.

"Maybe I should resign." She said.

"I thought you already did?"

"Pfft. I meant that I was resigned to the fact that you didn't love me."

"I do. With all my heart. I love you."

She blinked rapidly. "Oh." biting her lip she studied his face and saw what she had always dreamed of seeing. Trust. "I also love you. And... I think that doing the marry thing could be a good idea, because, Daniel, I think we need those vowels."

"Vows."

"That's what I said."

"Right."

They both moved at the same time, coming together, melding into each other. Mouths fighting for dominance, hands grasping, holding, loving.

"Vala." Daniel breathed out, mouth so close to hers. "Let's go home."

"Mmm, home. Yes."

~0i0~ END


End file.
